中华豪门—古人为何要立家规家训的读书心得

本期编辑/开鸿顺KaiHongShun Studio————————

在过去数千年的历史上，中国人思想文化的传承，依靠的不仅仅是社会性的普适教育，最为关键的，其实是家庭教育。

In the past thousands of years, the inheritance of Chinese ideology and culture depends not only on social universal education, but also on family education.

在很多著名历史人物的介绍里，我们经常可以看到，说他是出自于书香门第，为什么书香门第容易出人才，就是因为这样的家庭，往往有着严格的家规家训，有着优良的家风传统。

In the introductions of many famous historical figures, we can often see that he came from a scholarly family. The reason why it is easy for a scholarly family to produce talents is that such families often have strict family rules and instructions, and have excellent family traditions.

历史上比较著名的家规家训，比如《朱子家训》《颜氏家训》《曾国藩家训》等等，都不仅仅是他们家族内部的治家方略，还涉及到为人处世修身养性甚至治国理政等方方面面的内容。

The famous family rules and family instructions in history, such as Zhu Zi's Family Instructions, Yan's Family Instructions and Zeng Guofan's Family Instructions, are not only the strategies for managing the family within their family, but also involve the content of self-cultivation, self-cultivation and even governance.

因为这些家族，培养出了很多在历史上非常有影响力的人才，所以他们家族内部的家规家训，也就被世人争相学习效仿。当然，在古时候，每一个家族或者家庭，也都会有各自不同的家规家训，并不会完全相同。

Because these families have trained a lot of influential talents in history, their family rules and family precepts have been emulated by the world. Of course, in ancient times, each family or family had its own rules and instructions, which were not identical.

那么我们的古人，为什么要在家里立下家规家训呢？我们知道，家训的作用，就是“言居家之道，以垂训子孙”，最早的家规家训，可以追溯到西周时期。西周，是一个非常重视礼仪的时代，特别是祭祀。

So why did our ancient people set up family rules at home? As we know, the function of family discipline is to "speak the way of living at home, so as to instruct the descendants". The earliest family discipline can be traced back to the Western Zhou Dynasty. The Western Zhou Dynasty was an era that attached great importance to etiquette, especially sacrifice.

礼记中说：礼有五经，莫重于祭。也就是说，祭礼，是诸礼当中的重中之重，祭礼的目的，主要是表达对天地鬼神的敬畏以及达对祖先的孝敬，这是一件非常神圣的事情，所以有许多需要注意的细节和礼仪。

The Book of Rites says: "Rites have five sutras, so don't be more important than sacrifices.". In other words, sacrificial rites are the most important among all kinds of rites. The purpose of sacrificial rites is to express the awe of the gods and gods of heaven and earth and the filial piety to ancestors. This is a very sacred thing, so there are many details and rituals that need to be paid attention to.

但是小孩子往往不懂事，如果在祭祀的过程中追逐嬉戏，就会亵渎神明触怒先祖，被视为是大不敬的行为，所以古人就制定出很多条条框框的规矩，从小就教育小孩，要遵守这些礼仪家教，以免在祭祀的时候出现乱子，这就是最早的家规家训。

But children are often ignorant. If they chase and play in the process of sacrifice, they will desecrate the gods and offend their ancestors, which is regarded as a great disrespect. So the ancients formulated many rules and regulations. They taught children from an early age and should abide by these rules and regulations to avoid trouble during the sacrifice.

后来，人们发现，小时候受到过这种礼仪家教的人，长大以后会有更好的性格和品质，于是就总结出了“慎终于始”的教育理念，也就是说，对一个人的教育，要从小就开始，而且要一以贯之。

Later, people found that those who had received such etiquette tutoring as children would have better character and quality when they grew up, so they summed up the education concept of "being cautious at the end of the day", that is, the education of a person should start from an early age and be consistent.

因此，除开礼仪规矩之外，古人的家教，还加入了孝道、仁义礼智信等儒家思想的内容，同时提倡“严父慈母”的家风原则，也就逐渐形成了有意识、有针对性的家规家训。

Therefore, apart from etiquette and rules, the family education of the ancient people also added such Confucian ideas as filial piety, benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom and trustworthiness, and advocated the family style principle of "strict father and loving mother", which gradually formed a conscious and targeted family discipline.

历史上有个著名的家教故事——孟母三迁。在孟子很小的时候，他的父亲就去世了。那么当时孟子的家庭条件，其实还不错，因为他家里祖上世代为官，父亲虽然英年早逝，但却留下了一笔财富给孤儿寡母，虽然不至于大富大贵，但却也足够他们衣食无忧。

There is a famous family education story in history - Mencius' mother moved three times. When Mencius was very young, his father died. At that time, Mencius' family conditions were not bad, because his ancestors had been officials for generations. Although his father died young, he left a fortune to the orphans and widows.

古人说“子不教父之过”，孟子没有父亲，他的母亲就承担起了对儿子教育的责任，于是就有了我们所熟知的孟母三迁的故事，大概就和咱们现在有的家长为了孩子上学换了三套学区房一个道理，但是这个搬家是需要花钱的，孟子的母亲接连搬了三次，差不多就把家里的钱都花光了，最后搬了一所学校的旁边。

The ancients said that "children do not have a godfather's fault". Mencius had no father, and his mother took the responsibility for his son's education. As a result, we know the story of Mencius' mother moving three times, which is probably the same as some parents now changing three sets of school district houses for their children's schooling.

别人就不理解啊，说你留着钱多好呀对吧，搬来搬去成了穷光蛋，这以后就要过苦日子了。那么孟子的母亲虽然是一个妇道人家，但她却非常注重家庭教育，她知道如果靠自己有限的学识，很难把儿子教好，所以她宁愿穷一点，也要让儿子在一个好的教育环境当中成长。

Others don't understand. They say it's good for you to keep your money, right? You've become a pauper when you move around, and you'll have to live a hard life later. Although Mencius's mother was a woman, she paid great attention to family education...

孟子的母亲知道，如果小时候不注重教育问题，等他长大了一样要败光家产，所以一个没有家规家训的家庭，实际上比穷还要可怕，因为穷没有关系，财富还可以不断创造。

Mencius' mother knew that if he didn't pay attention to education when he was young, he would lose all his family wealth when he grew up. Therefore, a family without family rules and regulations is actually more terrible than being poor, because it doesn't matter if it is poor, and wealth can be created continuously.

但如果没有家教，孩子长大以后就没有规矩，等待他的就不仅仅是穷，还不知道会惹出什么样的祸端，这就是家规家训的意义所在，它实际上是给孩子成长进行保驾护航的一种家庭教育机制，所以说：一个没有规矩的家庭，远比没钱还要更可怕！

But if there is no family education, children will have no rules when they grow up. It is not only poor to wait for them, but also unknown what kind of disaster will be caused. This is the meaning of family rules and family instructions. In fact, it is a family education mechanism to protect children's growth. So, a family without rules is far more terrible than no money!

中国古人的家庭教育从胎教开始，贯穿了人的一生，直到“慎终追远”。古语讲：“闺阃乃圣贤所出之地，母教为天下太平之源。”孔子、孟子、欧阳修等圣贤人的出现，都是因为从小在家庭中就接受了良好的母教。

The family education of the ancient Chinese started from prenatal education and ran through the whole life of a person until "being cautious and pursuing the future". As an old saying goes, "Boudoir is the place where sages come from, and maternal education is the source of peace in the world." Confucius, Mencius, Ouyang Xiu and other sages appeared because they had received good maternal education in their families since childhood.

中国传统文化强调男女在人格上是平等的，但在家庭的职责分工上有差别。用现代话说，就是男女的社会角色、职责、分工各有侧重：男子创造经济收入，使家人衣食无忧；女子教育子女，使儿女把良好的家风、家业承传下去，这就是男女有别。

Chinese traditional culture emphasizes that men and women are equal in personality, but there are differences in the division of family responsibilities. In modern terms, the social roles, responsibilities and division of labor of men and women have their own priorities: men create economic income, so that their families have no worries about food and clothing...

“不孝有三，无后为大”的“无后”，不仅是指没有儿子，更重要的是指没有承传事业的后继人才。所以古人强调：“至要莫如教子”，提醒家庭最重要的职责就是把儿女教育好，以身作则，所谓“言教者讼，身教者从”。因为儿女和母亲在一起的时间最长，所以教育子女的责任主要由母亲来承担。

"There are three ways to be unfilial, and no offspring is the greatest". "No offspring" not only means no sons, but more importantly, no successors to the cause. Therefore, the ancients emphasized that "it is better to teach children than to teach them". They reminded families that the most important responsibility is to educate their children well and set an example.

正是传统文化重视发挥妇女在家教中的作用，才塑造了中华民族的优秀品格，使中华民族生生不息、绵延不绝。

It is the traditional culture that attaches importance to the role of women in family education, which shapes the excellent character of the Chinese nation and makes the Chinese nation endless.